A
wife's journal
In
the beginning.........
Vince
and I have been married for almost 28 years. Mainly it has been him
worrying and caring for me during all my multiple illness's,
including my own cancer. Now, it's my turn. On January 14th,
2014, we received the results of his biopsy, Esophageal Cancer.
What
brought us to this life changing diagnosis came months ago. It seems
to have slowly crept up on us like a cat on a mouse. I had seen
signs that something was wrong with him probably 7 months beforehand.
He would come home from work and look white as a sheet. I mentioned
to him on multiple occasions that it looked like he was anemic and in
traditional Vinnie style he poo poo'd me and said, “I'm fine”.
He
was loosing weight which was a good thing as he was a big man but he
really wasn't on a diet and had not be actively trying to loose
weight. His energy started dropping to the point he was so exhausted
when he got home he melted into his chair and didn't have the energy
to do much of anything. Like a true stubborn Italian man he was
ignoring his own body till he got so tired and worn out he finally
went into Urgent care. Well, Urgent care was pretty much a waste of
time as the doctor just assumed he had some virus and wouldn't do any
blood draws. One week later we took him to the ER and after they did
all the blood work found out that he was indeed anemic. His Hbg was
7.2 and for a normal male it should be 14 to 16. That night they
gave him 2 units of blood and sent us home but they did arrange for
him to have a colonoscopy to try and find where he was bleeding from.
The
next day he went to work and really should not have but when he got
home he was white as a sheet again and feeling weak. Two days after
the 1st transfusions he was back in the ER to get 2 more.
We
waited patiently for the day of his colonoscopy. The day arrived and
they decided that they were doing a colonoscopy and an endoscopy the
same day. Colonoscopy turned out clear but he had a lot of bleeding
in his stomach which they said was an ulcer and they took biopsies of
the area. Those biopsies came back negative and he was to return in
a month to have another endoscopy to see if he was healing. They had
prescribed him Prilosec 2 times a day.
So
on January 6th he went in for his follow up endoscopy.
This time the doctor took more biopsies and told us the ulcer was
clearing up. One strange thing is he didn't give us the pictures
this time. I asked for them and the nurse came back and said he was
going to keep them to talk to a couple other doctors. Flag went up
for me right there.
So
on his appointment with the doctor on the 14th Vince was
told that the biopsies this time showed cancer. Deep down we had
both had the big “C” in our heads that was going to be the
diagnosis. When he called me from the doctor's office and told me I
was devastated, he was numb. The diagnosis was Esophagus Cancer.
The doctor did say they caught it early but they didn't know the
stage of the cancer which won't be known till after it is removed.
Immediately
he was given the information for all the appointments for scans that
he has to have done and his Nurse Coordinators etc. I was at home in
tears and had to call our daughter to give her the news. She was
upset but she became the rock and tried to calm and reassure me. She
is a strong young woman.
When
Vince came home we sat together on the bed and talked trying to
reassure each other that no matter what we would fight this together.
I posted for prayers on FB and the immense love came pouring out for
both of us. And so it began......this fight for life.
Wednesday,
January 15th the day of the 1st CT scan.
Neither of us had slept as this was moving at such a whirlwind pace.
One day your told you have cancer the next morning your in a CT
scanner. We have so far dealt with all this with humor. Laughter is
the best medicine and Vince had me rolling on the floor after he was
done with the scan. He told me that when they took him into the
changing room they said, “You can keep your shirt on but everything
below the waist off except for these scrubs.” Well, they had two
sizes of scrubs one to big and one to small.
He
got the bigger ones and as he walked down the hall to the scanner in
his exsausted state he forgot to hold his pants up and found himself
in the hallway with his pants around his ankles with his naughty bits
all hanging out for the world to see. He calmly pulled them up and
continued walking as the nurse said to him, “forgot to hold those
up huh?”
Laughter.....
You have to have laughter or you fall down into the pit of despair.
January
16th, Off we go into the cities for a PET scan.
As
we waited for them to call him in for the scan I snuck over to the
gift shop to look around. I found the coolest things. I came back
to the waiting room and handed him one.
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That
brought out a huge smile.
After
45 minutes of waiting the technician came out to tell us that the PET
scanner was broken. GRRRRR. We had his Nurse Coordinator for Abbott
with us at the time and I said, “Well, we have to come in tomorrow
for his ultrasound can they reschedule him tomorrow?” as we live
50 miles from the hospital. GREAT news they had an opening at 7 am.
Which seen as the PET scan takes 2 hours we would get done in time
for him to go to the other side of the hospital for his ultrasound at
9:30. Although now we have to get up at 3:30 in the morning to leave
by 5 to get there by 6:45 with the crazy snow and bitter cold storm
coming through.
Nurse
Jessica gave us a 3 ring binder with everything a cancer patient
could want to keep track of everything and told us that she had
scheduled the appointment with his surgeon for Tuesday the 21st.
Off we went.
Now
I have learned that you should always use Valet parking. We
unfortunately did not and ended up on the fourth level, winds blowing
and lo and behold.... the elevator was not working. Tomorrow I'm
using Valet parking.
We
were both starving to death as he had not eaten since the night
before nor did I so off we went to Perkins. He ate a hearty meal.
And
so our wait for the morning begins. It is 1 a.m. Vince is sleeping
and here I sit typing. Yup, insomnia is my name.
