Life has been...........shall we say.....
CHALLENGING
So Vince's company, Holiday, decided that after his FMLA completed they would let him go. Yup, right in the middle of cancer treatment just let him go without extending his leave and now we have no insurance.
He completed his initial chemo and radiation treatments with flying colors doing great and we waited the 3 weeks till his surgery was scheduled. He had his PET scan and it showed the tumor had gotten smaller. He went in on Friday the 2nd for his 5 hour surgery with hopes high. Our hopes would soon be dashed as I received the call from the surgical waiting area telling me he was on his way to recovery. I was like WHAT? He was only in there less than 2 hours.
I immediately knew this didn't bode well as I waited for the surgeon to talk to me. They had got in a found that the cancer had spread to his pancreas and at that point they decided that putting him through such a difficult surgery and recovery was not in his best interest. My legs went out from under me. The surgeon was himself visibly distressed at this finding as it did not show up on the PET scan. I asked him how long he had..... His estimate was 6 months. I can only assume at this point that the cancer was very invasive on his pancreas. We see the oncologist Thursday and will get more information on the findings and his options at this point.
I brought him home the same day and expectantly we were both in shock at the outcome as he had been doing so well. Was the star patient in chemo and radiation. Had very little side effects and everything looked great. The news was a huge slap in the face. We spent the rest of the day and evening snuggling in bed with the dogs trying to process all this.
So how does one deal with this terrible news.......
Some would breakdown. We are the exception. Maybe it's denial. Maybe the reality of it hasn't hit. But for whatever reason we are continuing to try and stay positive. We are still using humor to get us through this.
I know that I'm going to loose my husband but I'll be damned if I am not going to spend however much time we have living life to the fullest. We are preparing but not dwelling on it. He has rollercoaster emotions which are very normal and I sit, I listen, I support any decision he makes concerning this. If he chooses to do months of chemo I'll be right there with him. If he chooses not to do any more treatments to maintain a quality of life I'll be right there with him. Do I want him to go.......no
I also don't want him to feel he has to go through hell for me. He calls the shots on this and I will support any decisions he makes.
We are going to live this time to the fullest........... It's all we can do.
