Death and the Empath

Death and the Empath.  Interesting concept especially when the dying is talking to me from the hospital in his between world state.

Tuesday night my Father in Law past away.  I got a call from my husband from the hospital that they had given him last rites.  Vince and his brother told him it was o.k. for him to go, they would take care of everything.  At home I'm being yelled at, "I ain't going, I ain't going damn it"

Vince came home to get something to eat and chill for a bit and then we got a call from his brother, Craig, that he should come back to the hospital as Dad was going fast.  I got dressed and as usual when I am in the bathroom I hear Dad saying, "Don't leave without me, Don't leave without me"  I knew he was talking to Mom who was there to take him home and I knew he would be dead before we got there.  We were 5 minutes from the hospital when Craig called and said he is already dead.  Vincent went into a fury and almost took us off the slippery icy road into the ditch.

They both wanted to be there when he went but Clem was not about to allow that to happen.  You see there had been bad blood between the three of them for the last 5 years.  Clem liked to pit his boys against each other telling one that the other one did this or that when in fact he hadn't.  His need for control over all situations seemed to give him a twisted pleasure that increased more and more since Faye died in 2004.

Clem did have his good qualities.  He adored his grand daughters.  His OCD got in the way of him maintaining a relationship with my daughter.  After Faye died, Alyssa grieved for a year and a half and when she would be at his house for the weekend and would start crying about Faye, Clem would get upset and tell her to stop it, get over it.  There were other things that pushed her away from him to the point that she will not be attending the funeral Tuesday.

The problem being an Empath during a time of death in these circumstances is I am the outward expression of sorrow and anger my husband continues to hold in.  I am not able to block his emotional turmoil and he thinks my behavior is coming from me and not mirroring what he is holding within.  I have had to seperate from him and stop talking to him today.  He has to deal with his mourning and I have my own..  I can't do both.

So from today until Tuesday at 9am when the funeral is......will be very interesting.

xoxo


I did it my way.........