I'm just GREAT! Thanks for asking.

Today children we learn an important lesson on anger release.  Yes, there are things in this life you have no control over that SEND YOU OVER THE FUCKING  INSANE, ROCKER, but in polite society your supposed to suck it up and not make waves.

But even a light worker is still human and we still get bouts of rage and if you don't then you most likely have some major issues with your internal organs, which can be messy if they explode and splatter upon the walls of life.

I am able to flitter off my anger at a lot of things, especially things I have no control over but when the result is humiliation (as perceived by me) I tend to have mini meltdowns.  It is important to release the beast of anger in healthy ways.  Yes, I am still trying to maintain some hahahaha factor here.  Now my lack of restraint could be caused by two factors.

1.  Pain levels are high which is always a dangerous thing as it is harder to maintain my Zen.

2.  Increasing sun spots exploding nasty little gamma rays into my braincase.

Again, bringing up all sorts of negative emotions and yuck.  But the primary reason I have lost my ever loving mind is this.....

2 count them 2 major things have happened in 2 count them 2 days.

First lets take a look at the definition of Passive Aggressive Behavior.

From: Daniel K. Hall-Flavin, M.D.

Passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them. There's a disconnect between what a passive-aggressive person says and what he or she does. For a passive-aggressive person, true feelings are shared through actions, not words.

For example, a passive-aggressive person might appear to agree — perhaps even enthusiastically — with another person's request. Rather than completing the task, however, he or she might express anger or resentment by missing deadlines, showing up late to meetings, making excuses or even working against the task.

Specific signs and symptoms of passive-aggressive behavior include:

• Resentment and opposition to the demands of others
• Complaining about feeling underappreciated or cheated
• Procrastination
• Stubbornness
• Inefficiency
• Memory lapses
• Sullenness
• Irritability
• Cynical or hostile attitude

Although passive-aggressive behavior can be a feature of various mental health conditions, it isn't considered a mental illness. If passive-aggressive behavior is interfering with your relationships or daily activities, consult a therapist who can help you identify and try to change your behavior.

So come over here and lets take a walk through the mind of a passive aggressive individual.  Ready?  BEGIN.

I was going to post the exact conversation but in the interest of not being a PAI person myself have checked that.

1.  Don't post pictures until we can approve them because there are some that we don't like.

2.  Pictures get posted anyway and we are told, "I won't tag them, you can tag them yourselves."

3.  I let that slide as I appreciate the creativity aspect tillllllllllll.........

4.  EVERYONE OF THEM SHOWS UP TAGGED ON MY TIMELINE.

Needless to say, I chewed up some PAI ass like I haven't chewed ass in YEARS.   So now I take a deep cleansing breath........you can join me........

So tonight what brought up all yesterdays fury was the 

Gremlins who obviously got control of the play board and played last weeks show instead of this weeks show.  How humiliating to have a guest come on to promote an event and even lengthen the registration because of said show only to have said show not on.

Yes, I'm pissed.  I have every right to express my pissiness as do you the dear reader.

I'm now breathing in a calm manner and am no longer a threat to myself nor those individuals under my anger radar.

Keep smiling cause,

I feel pretty

I feel pretty

I feel whitty and pretty and bla bla bla

Secret Messages & Mabon Blessings

Well, FINALLY, after over 50 hours of no sleep....  drum roll please

I slept through the night!  Yeah, obviously when sufficiently tired and enough Benedryl and a couple Ativan are added to the mix I bypass the Sandman and sleep.

So, today I wanted to send a message to a friend of mine who is not doing well at all.  She will of course understand the following message.



Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

So, hopefully she finds this message and does what needs to be done concerning the matter at hand.

*

Today I must don the female face paint for a photo shoot with Lisa and Ashley as the Sit a Spell girls.  Should be fun if not a little nippy.  I may have to utilize some tape in specific areas to prevent the high beams from coming on.

The wonderful, Ron Jamiolkowski, shall be our official photographer for the event.  Luckily, Ron survived the drive over from Illinois without injury as he likes to text and drive.  tsk tsk tsk.  We have given him the title of The Official Sit a Spell Photographer.  YEAH RON!!!!

Just remember your angles as we older ladies like to minimize turkey necks and extra chins.  I wonder if they have invented a lens that slims your ass?  Oh hell, embrace our Croneness I always say.

*

Today begins Mabon.  The wonderful holiday of the 2nd harvest.  When Persephone goes down into the Underworld to live with Hades.

Where her mother Demeter mourns her during the winter months till spring when she rises again.

The story of Demeter and Persephone.....

Zeus, the king of all the gods, had three sisters. Hera, his wife and sister, was the goddess of marriage and the queen of all the gods.

Hestia, another of his sisters, was a much loved goddess by the woman of Greece - Hestia was the goddess of home and hearth.

His third sister, Demeter, was in charge of the harvest. All the gods jobs were important. Demeter's job was very important. If she was upset, the crops could die. Everyone, gods and mortals, worked hard to keep Demeter happy. What made her happy was enjoying the company of her daughter, Persephone.  

As the story goes ....

Persephone had grown into a beautiful young woman, with a smile for everyone. One day, while picking flowers in the fields, Hades, her uncle, the god of the underworld, noticed her.

Hades was normally a gloomy fellow. But Persephone’s beauty had dazzled him. He fell in love instantly. Quickly, before anyone could interfere, he kidnapped Persephone and hurled his chariot down into the darkest depths of the underworld, taking Persephone with him.

  

Locked in a room in the Hall of Hades, Persephone cried and cried. She refused to speak to Hades. And she refused to eat. Legend said if you ate anything in Hades, you could never leave. She did not know if the legend was true, but she did not want to risk it in case someone came to rescue her.

Nearly a week went by. Finally, unable to bear her hunger, Persephone ate six pomegranate seeds. It seemed her fate was sealed. She would have to live in the Underworld forever.

Meanwhile, back on earth, Zeus was worried about the crops. The people would die if the crops failed. If that happened, who would worship Zeus? He had to do something. Zeus did what he often did. He sent Hermes, his youngest son, the messenger, to crack a deal, this time with Hades. 

Even as a baby, Hermes was great at making deals. Everyone knew that. But this deal might be the challenge of his life. His uncle Hades, king of the underworld, was really in love. This was no passing fancy. 

When Hermes heard that Persephone had eaten six pomegranate seeds, he had to think quickly. The deal he made with Hades was that if Persephone would marry Hades, she would live as queen of the underworld for six months out of the year. However, each spring, Persephone would return and live on earth for the other six months of the year. Hades agreed. Zeus agreed. Persephone agreed. And finally, Demeter agreed.

Each spring, Demeter makes sure all the flowers bloom in welcome when her daughter, Queen of the Underworld,  returns to her. Each fall, when Persephone returns to Hades, Demeter cries, and lets all the crops die until spring, when the cycle starts again. 

And so, wishing you all a Blessed Mabon.  May your year be bountiful, your hearts filled with Love and may you be healed from all your hurts.

It's 5 am.

It's 5 am and do you know where the Sandman is?

Apparently not at my house.  Oh sure I get those 20 minute power snoozes sometimes but all in all about 4 hours of sleep a night if one is lucky.

So, what does one do when one never sleeps?  Well, being a gemini of course knowledge is titillating.  I'm known for random facts spewing out of my mouth from nowhere that are triggered somewhere deep in dusty cobwebs of my mind. 

For instance female hyena's have a penis.  Yes, it is absolutely true to a point. Actually they have such high amounts of testosterone in their systems that their delicate lady bits have grown to enormous penis sized prize winners.

But I digress here and hey, you opened the page so you asked for it.  (Ashley)

Tonight's subject of interest that is dear to my heart is the "nare".  ????? you maybe asking..... Well, those not in the know, will be excited to find out you have nare's also.  Yes, those little openings into your braincase that you breathe through.

Wonderful thing nares...with the right flare in your nare you can actually BREATHE.  I alas have no flare to my nares and allergies so you can imagine what trying to breathe through them is like.  Let's take a look at different nares and flares shall we?

So looking at the nare flare chart you see that there is a plethora of different shapes and sizes.  I unfortunately do not see my own on this chart...  Comparatively speaking here, figure lV, the very wide eyed surprised looking one is the optimal nare for allergy suffering nose breather's.  If I had to choose which one most closely resembles my lacking flare it would be nare number 1 from the top chart.  I was born with very cute nares...

Almost wide eyed wonders to be sure although somewhat disproportionate, the right being smaller than the left much like my boobs.

Random fact:  All women, other than imitation silicone, have one boob bigger than the other.  The smaller boob is almost always on your dominate side. Right handed or left handed.  This is because you strengthen those pectorals on the side you use the most.  Alas, your other boob is pretty much a couch potato and just gets fat and saggy.

Back to my lacking nares..  The mutation of my delicate nares began when I was six.  Yes, the day I had to start wearing GLASSES.  Apparently those nice little nose cushions caused a crazy ass squeezing shut of my sweet sweet nares.  44 years of cushiony nose pads have trained my nares to be tiny and squeezed together much like foot binding. 

This poor woman was not only tortured but seems to have received one toe more than regulation.  So now that this picture has most likely brought up every meal you have had in the last 24 hours here is how they did it.

Foot Binding:

First, each foot would be soaked in a warm mixture of herbs and animal blood; this was intended to soften the foot and aid the binding. Then, the toenails were cut back as far as possible to prevent in-growth and subsequent infections, since the toes were to be pressed tightly into the sole of the foot. To prepare her for what was to come next, the girl’s feet were delicately massaged. Cotton bandages, 3 m long and 5 cm wide (10 ft by 2 in), were prepared by soaking them in the blood and herb mixture. To enable the size of the feet to be reduced, the toes on each foot were curled under, then pressed with great force downwards and squeezed into the sole of the foot until the toes broke. This was all carried out without the use of pain relief, and was excruciatingly painful for the girl being bound.

The broken toes were held tightly against the sole of the foot while the foot was then drawn down straight with the leg and the arch forcibly broken. The actual binding of the feet was then begun. The bandages were repeatedly wound in a figure-eight movement, starting at the inside of the foot at the instep, then carried over the toes, under the foot, and round the heel, the freshly broken toes being pressed tightly into the sole of the foot. At each pass around the foot, the binding cloth was tightened, pulling the ball of the foot and the heel ever close together, causing the broken foot to fold at the arch, and pressing the toes underneath, this would cause the young girl extreme pain.(really? no shit Sherlock!) When the binding was completed, the end of the binding cloth was sewn tightly to prevent the girl from loosening it, and the girl was required to stand on her freshly broken and bound feet to further crush them into shape. As the wet bandages dried, they constricted, making the binding even tighter.

So here is your exercise for the day..  close your mouth....suck in as much air in your nose as possible till your nares slam shut. Go ahead, I'm waiting...........  If you have completed this exercise and found that you could no longer breathe during the slamming shut, congratulations, you now know what it is like for me to try and breathe.

On a positive note....at least I did not make the Guiness Book of records for this mighty impressive nose....

A Mr. Thomas Wedders from 1700's had a whopper at 19 cm or almost 7 1/2 inches long.  Which brings up the question....can you determine the size of a man's penis from his nose size and if so, did he have to carry a concealed weapons license?

So what have we learned this morning?

1. small nares are bad.

2. female hyenas have really big pseudo penis's

3. one of your boobs is most likely bigger than the other

4. foot binding is mind boggling

5. a man actually lived with a nose that could have been larger than his penis or he had to carry a concealed weapon license

6. visual aids really make a blog pop

7. the sandman sucks ass cause he is never around

8. that it surprises me that women would go to extremes to be pleasing to men

Learning is fundamental.  Aren't you glad I never sleep cause your IQ and breakfast rose just a little today?

(Lisa told me I needed to blog more so Sit a Spell fans could get to know me better...)   

A Wonderful Day

September 20th, 2012

What a wonderful day I had today...

It was a ZOE DAY!!!  Yes, I got to go out and have a visit with Michelle and little Zoe.

This is little Zoe.  A super special little girl who has some intense super powers for a baby.  Notice the smiling sweet face that sucks you in.  Oh, she has me in her power....but then she pulls a fast one and her eyes wander around not paying attention to you.....

She is now psyching me out.... Lalalala, I don't see you...  Then BAM!

She locks into your eyes and begins probing your brain.  Oh yes, she is that good...  Try as I might I am powerless to remove myself from the Zoe Mind Meld.  Now being in my mind is like a roller coaster fun house with scary things popping out around each cobweb filled corner.  She is much to young to be in the fun house.  Although it must have been fun to experience spinning senior moments but then again I should talk to her and find out what I don't remember during the day.  I think she has a future there.

To seal the deal for the day, she honored me by puking on me 3 times copious amounts of lunch.  So all in all I was puked on and mind probed which of course is so much nicer than alien probing...  ;)

From there I zipped home and stopped at the pharmacy to pick up the hubby's scripts that he called in at 10 am mind you....  I got there at 4:30 and they still hadn't done them.  This seems to be the norm now and we are going to be switching pharmacies again.  The only down side of the day.

Then off to Bee Merry for the Fairie Class.  I so love it working with the girls there.  We did another meditation to get our creative fairie juices flowing. (I know that sounds bad)  After our meditation and meeting our fairie who also gave us a word or message, we broke out the paper and colored pencils, chalk etc. and began to draw the fairie we met who is also our inspiration for next Thursday when we are making fairie dolls.

My fairie appeared riding upon a turtle holding a ball of morning dew in her hands.  The message I received from my fairie who remains nameless....was this:

Silence.......  Become one with the moss and blend into your surroundings.  Within the silence you will hear our wisdom.

Obviously very wise advice.  We then went outside to bring offerings to our little fairie friends.  It was a fairie feast I tell you.  A mound of jello, candy dots, popcorn,  tomatillo , and some Mike's hard liquor.  They love to sip on the hard stuff.  

Friday night is Drum Circle.  As we go back to Seven Nations Park to drum our little hearts out, dance in a fairie ring, and set out more yummy food offerings for our fairie friends and ancestors.  I hope they honor me with another picture.

If you ask with respect, they will show themselves.